


So there I was...

by Tasebi



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:55:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 14,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7208615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tasebi/pseuds/Tasebi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is for all the gamers out there who have played ANY MMO EVER. This is what we WOULD say if the creators of the game actually gave us the options to. This is a story of an Au-Ra who escaped Doma and made her way to Gridania. Seeing refugees were being turned away from all the city states, she decided to pose as an adventurer and join the conjurers guild to become a healer. She is a reluctant hero. Her heart is in healing those harmed by the war, and yet.... it seems fate has other plans for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And so it begins...

**Author's Note:**

> *ASSUME SPOILERS* This work is the internal monologue and what would have actually been said had the options been available during game play. There will be comments about having to "clear that dungeon, AGAIN! Can't it just stay cleared? I mean, is it too much to ask?" (because DF gives you the same dungeon for the upteenth time) as well as reactions and conversations revolving around the main story quests for the game. I will avoid direct transcription, but I am putting a spoiler warning here anyway.

My name is Neith Protothonia. Until recently, I was a citizen of the Garlean Empire. Well, Doma actually. But it has been taken by Garlean rule. My reason for leaving is tale for another time and has little to do with Garlemald, at least initially. 

For now, I'll share a few things: my name, I'm a passably good healer and I have turned to adventuring as a trade. That is why I am here, in Gridania. I want to be a better healer so I can help those caught in the conflict, and this is the best place to do it. I also know that Gridania is turning away refugees. They aren't alone. All the city-states are doing it. The calamity took its toll and they are suffering to meet the needs of their people, refugees just add to the strain. An adventurer is perfect cover though. I can work, train and blend in without anyone ever being the wiser. 

If Garlemald is the height of industry and technology, Gridania is the epitome of harmony with nature. The city seems less a construct and more an extension of the Twelveswood itself. The roads are not paved, but it seems as if the forest has moved obstacles and roots out of the way to allow for easy passage. Within the city itself, it's almost as if the forest grew the buildings rather than wood being taken to build them. 

Anyroads, assuming my guise as an adventurer, I entered the city. I had hoped for some direction and a general dismissal. Falling under the radar as "generally not worth ones notice". Alas, that was not to be. I was quickly identified and addressed by some man in a guard type uniform. He did give me directions to a place called "The Carline Canopy". That's apparently where all adventurers report upon arriving to the city. 

I dutifully presented myself and met Mother Miounne. She's a pleasant enough woman with a bit of a, well, mother countenance. She quickly took me under her wing and set me about small tasks to help me learn the lay of the land, as it were. 

Armed with directions to the conjurers guild - so I might increase my healing arts - and a direction to "aid Gridania's citizens" I set about my business. 

I will say, when I grow tired of this adventuring business, I think I will start a courier's guild here in the city. The number of citizenry who have basic "deliver this to here" or "fetch this from that person" is astounding! Were I to hire some of the older children - or even refugees - and put them to work as couriers I do believe I could create quite a profitable business without ever leaving the city. This would free up the random adventurer to go do the "more exciting" tasks they seem to look forward to. Perhaps, with this set up, the adventurers could bring the squirrel and ladybug population into reasonable levels. 

But I digress...

I made my way to the conjurers guild wherein I met E-Sami-Yan, the guildmaster. A rather peculiar being, he's not one of the races I know. He has horns growing out of his head but lacks the tail and scales of the Au-Ra. Quite peculiar really. He spoke to me of elements and elementals. He bade me to study and build bonds so I might become stronger. And then he set me on the task to kill creatures. 

I will admit I was a bit confused. After this long lecture about balance and not angering the elementals, about living in the canopy by the grace of the elementals alone, he tells me "Go. Hunt. Kill things." 

To say this was a bit of a challenge for me would be an understatement. I came from war. I was fleeing the front lines. I wanted to heal the injured and cure the ill. And he wanted me to kill forest creatures. I wanted to protest. I actually tried. He assured me this was the best way to learn more about the elementals that share the Twelveswood. I sighed and bowed my head and took the task I was commanded to do. 

That's how I ended up in the forest throwing rocks at ladybugs and mushrooms. 

 


	2. Lifemend Stump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her tasks aiding the citizens of Gridania complete, Neith heads into the Twelveswood in search of others who need aid so she might gain additional skills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Assume Spoilers* I attempt to title the "chapters" with the portion of the Main Story Quest that the excerpt relates to. As always, I will not do a transcription of the game, however, the character reactions to the main story may contain spoilers. If you've no reached this part of the story and do not wish it to be spoiled, please pass on reading it.

I hadn't expected to complete all the tasks for all the citizens nearly as quickly as I had. However, after a mere two days, I found myself with a troubling lack of tasks to complete. I spoke with Mother and she directed me to Bentbranch Meadows. 

I've discovered many things in my short time here in Gridania. The most glaring being, there are plenty of tasks that the average citizen doesn't want to do. Most of them are simple enough and not unlike those I did within the city. They all pay or barter well and I can hardly complain about the recompense I receive for the tasks I complete. But it does give me pause. If the average citizen can afford the arms, armor or simple gil they are paying an adventurer, why not pay the refugees to do the same tasks? That should free the adventurers to bolster the troops and possibly end the conflicts with the beast tribes sooner, yes? 

Ah, but this is likely why I am not an ambassador or statesman. Surely it cannot be that simple. 

Anyroads, on my sojourn into the twelveswood, I happened upon a place called "The Bannock". There, as in every place I had traveled prior, were plenty of tasks to complete some simple deliveries, some requiring the death of some random creatures. For a people who are trying to "live in harmony" with the forest and the elements, they sure do a bit of killing. 

Where was I? Oh Yes! The Bannock! At the bannock I met a gentleman by the name of Galfried. He sent me on a most peculiar quest. 

***********************************************************************************************************

"I want you to go to a tree stump and find out what is going on."

I barely managed to choke back a laugh before my eyes and brain registered he was not joking.

"I'm sorry." I replied, "I must have missed something. Did you just tell me to go find a tree stump?

Galgried nods "I'm absolutely certain that is where we will find our culprit or the next major clue."

I look around taking in the forest and the massive hollowed out tree I walked through to get here. 

"You do understand," I choked out in my most courteous tone, "That we are in the middle of a  _forest_ and you just asked me to find a tree stump. Not any tree stump mind you, but a special one." I could hardly believe he made the request with a straight face. 

He nodded again. "Here, I'll mark your map. That should help you locate the stump faster. It's really distinct. You'll know it when you see it."

************************************************************************************************************

Mark my map, he did. Help me find it, it did not. I still stumbled around the forest for a few hours in the general location before I found it. It would have been easier if he had said "It's the tree stump with a lot of rocks on it arranged in a circle and in a particular pattern... because I only found ONE of those. 

And that's how I ended up removing a sword from a tree stump.


	3. The Spirithold Ruins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fun learning the peculiarities of Gridanian life - oh and now she's a "real" adventurer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Assume Spoilers* I attempt to title the "chapters" with the portion of the Main Story Quest that the excerpt relates to. As always, I will not do a transcription of the game, however, the character reactions to the main story may contain spoilers. If you've no reached this part of the story and do not wish it to be spoiled, please pass on reading it.

It's been one of the rougher days since I got here to Gridania, but at least - I think - they are considering me to be a true adventurer. Truth be told, I'm starting to consider myself one as well. I've learned to heal and to raise, but I've yet to apply those particular talents to anyone other than myself. To be honest, I rarely even heal myself. I have so many heal potions, I just use those and continue throwing stones at the creatures who attack me or who are on my hunting logs.

I did have an interesting mission. They sent me on this sort of rescue mission to find and return a "Hearer" and their guards. It seems they were heading to this shrine to return it to the elementals (it was pretty damaged and the Gridanians decided they weren't going to use it anymore). Well the "Hearer" met with some danger and none of the group came back. It was believed the whole group could be rescued so they sent me. 

I want you to think about it. The sent me - a solo conjurer - to rescue a group of FIVE GUARDS and a "Hearer". I really worry about these lancer and archer guilds if a single conjurer is considered more powerful....

ANYROADS, I get to the ruins and pick up a few of my hunts along the way without slowing down. I think I've given up on ever being a healer. It seems all I do is dole out death, but hey, I am getting pretty good at it!

At the ruins, sure enough, I find the group. I manage to get them back on their feet and send them to safety before finding the "Hearer". Before I can get the "Hearer" out of there I hear a deep and resonant voice

"Oh mornful voice of creation" and I get a  _really - bad - feeling_ about everything. I'm not to bright, but I have some pretty decent gut instincts. And, as usual, they were on point because I turn around and see this GIANT BLESSED ROCK GOLEM coming at me. 

Well crap. I've got to keep it away from the Hearer so they don't get any more injured than they are. So I run off to a corner and bring the colossus with me. The irony of throwing stones (still the most offensive thing I can do currently) at a GIANT ROCK GOLEM is not lost on me. But use the tools you have, right? Right. 

Anyhow, I worked it out all the while listening to that voice that called this thing judging my fighting ability. I don't know who it is, or from whence it came, but I don't like being spied on. For the record, I like being attacked by sentient rock formations even less.

I managed and just as I cleared the thing out, Yda and Papalymo showed up. I'm worried they are going to think I'm here to cause problems for the area. It might be in my best interest to travel to one of the other city-states, and quickly. 

**********************************************************************************************************************

I keep hearing about these things called "Linkshells" they must be very - VERY - expensive and precious things because Roseline and her fellow guards don't have them. How do I know? They  _literally_ had me running messages up and down that damned tree bridge. LINKSHELLS PEOPLE!! Look into them! There is a vendor in the city! Right by the mog! I'm absolutely certain, if an adventurer can pick up a linkperl for free, you guys could get one for little to no charge as well. I swear if I have to run up that damn tree bridge one more effing time....

***********************************************************************************************************************

Who decides these stupid hunts? I really REALLY want to know because I don't think they have their priorities straight! Some guard sent me down to the deepcroft to kill some skeletons. Don't get me wrong. I  _finally_ feel good about killing something. The undead should  _not_ be walking! This is not a good thing. So while I'm down there, I realize the  ** _FIREFLIES_** are on my hunting log list. Read that again:

**_FIREFLIES_ **

there are UNDEAD WALKING around down here, willfully attacking any traveler that may pass, and someone thinks the FIREFLIES that float around lighting the place up - and not attacking travelers mind you - are a bigger threat. Good to know....

And that's how I ended up throwing rocks at fireflies....


	4. The Guardian Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death, death and more death.... and if I ever hear that cast again, they won't get to the fourth word....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ASSUME SPOILERS** as with all chapters in this "diary/journal" ASSUME SPOILERS. While I will not do a transcription, it would be safer to assume major plot points will be commented on. If you don't want it spoiled, avoid reading this part until you clear it in the game.

You know, sometimes I wonder how Gridania has survived this long. I certainly hope the other city states are not this dysfunctional, but I'm beginning to fear they are. 

No sooner had I returned to Mother than she had an urgent request for me. I made ready and attended her post haste. This is not what concerned me. As an adventurer, I'm beginning to expect such urgent summons. When spoken with the gravity that Mother used, I was fully inclined to believe the situation was indeed grave. I was not to be disappointed - save by my comrades. 

I was sent to the Seat of the First Bow and pressed into service to defend the Guardian Tree. Now, this being a  _forest_ I find it a bit, absurd... yes, that would be the proper word, that there is a  _single_ guardian tree in the forest. One that merely scratching it would cause irreparable harm, but I'm new here, what do I know. 

ANYROADS, we made way to the Guardian tree - which was quite a bit easier to find than Lifemend Stump, but I digress. Upon arrival, the Ixyl were amassing. 

We quickly engaged the foe. 

I threw many stones and used wind sprites to harry the foe. I do believe this is the first occasion I had to make use of the healing magics I've learned. They were up to the task and I managed to assist in the defeat of no small number of Ixyl while also keeping my fellows up and in the fight. 

In the middle of the chaos, a creature called a "voidsent" appeared on the battlefield. 

It locked onto me as a target and I changed tactics. As before with the golem, I made way to the side of the party where my allies would not be in direct danger. I then set about healing myself until such time as my allies could aid me in felling the beast. 

With their aid, it was bested. And then they shocked me....

One of the soldiers came to me and informed me they were leaving me here, alone, while they took up the left flank where fighting was still fierce. 

"Uh, are you sure about that?" I asked, looking at the beast that was just defeated.

"Absolutely! The First Bow believes this to be the best course of action!" and off he ran.

"Because leaving one person to control an area is never a bad idea. Nothing ill could come of this. AT. ALL." I mumbled to myself

My words proved to be prophetic as I heard "Oh mournful voice of creation..."

As I turned to see the speaker, I saw a figure garbed in black who summoned forth, seemingly from the earth itself, a fearsome beast. More fearsome than the voidsent just felled. Knowing I was alone and not sure how to request aid, I steeled myself for the battle. 

I was a little better prepared this time. Not only could I throw my trusty stones and harry it with wind sprites, I could also push it back with gusts of water. (You see how hopeless my plight seemed to me at the time, do you not?)

Nonetheless, digging into the determination and will that has proven my stalwart ally from the time I escaped to now, I grit my teeth and steeled myself for the fight. I had nearly felled the beast when Yda and Papalymo once again made their appearance and helped me to fell the caster who brought it forth. 

It did soothe my ego a bit to have the First Bow apologetic and chagrined to have called men away when it was so clear that the greater threat was here. Nonetheless, I was grateful for Yda and Pamalymo's timely assistance. I may have been able to end the foul caster myself, but I'm happier for not having to learn.

And that is how I decided if I ever hear the words "Oh mournful voice..." the person uttering the words will die before they get to "of"


	5. Greenbliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently it's an honor to stand on a stage with a mask on. Oh well, when in Gridania, do as the Gridanian's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **SPOILERS** this is the internal monologue and reflections of a character to the Greenbliss ceremony. If you've not seen this FMV and don't want it spoiled, don't read it.

Due to the success at the Guardian Tree, the First Bow was to grant me a boon. However, before we could finish our meeting we were met by the leader of Gridania - Kan-E-Senna herself. She speaks quite formally and while her tone is soft, I've no doubt that when crossed the steel in her voice will cut deep and true. Perhaps it is more effective for it's shock factor. She has the same traits as the Guildmaster. Peculiar horns on her head but lacking the scales and tail of the Au-Ra. I'm now convinced this is a Gridanian thing. I will have to investigate it later. 

She expressed her gratitude for my aid, and attributed more than I thought was right and good to my prowess on the battlefield. I affected modesty for a few reasons. First, I would not have bested the voidsent were it not for the First Bow and his men. Nor would I have bested the foul caster without Yda and Papalymo's help. Second, I did not want her to expect great and grandiose things of me. While I've almost given up being a healer and am starting to accept my mantle of death bringer to forest creatures, I still lack any power of note. 

As if she understood my quandary, she graciously accepted my explanations and extended the honor of being the "envoy" during a curious ceremony called "Greenbliss".

I've learned well long ago that keeping one's head on one's shoulders means keeping that head as low as possible. If someone asks you participate in a ceremony in payment for a job well done, you do it. 

Apparently, the roll of envoy requires little more than standing there, in a mask, while Kan-E-Senna makes sparkles in the air and says a few words. It seemed harmless enough. 

I was about to go on my way when Kan-E-Senna saw my crystal. She made note and we spoke on it. I offered it to her saying it brought me no end of trouble. Before I could complain about the uncontrollable visions and being assaulted by random sickness, She commented the "crystal has chosen me for a purpose" and made mention of something called "the echo".

Before I could ask further on the matter, I was assaulted by a vision and lost consciousness. 

And that is how I became the Gridanian Envoy.


	6. The Gridanian Envoy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah.... a glorified delivery girl...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Spoilers* This will cover much of what happens in the cut scene traveling between the city-states as the Gridanian Envoy. If you've not watched this cutscene and don't want it spoiled, don't read on

The position of Gridanian Envoy is little more than an airborne courrier. The Boon of which is you are airborne. The drawback is, of course, that you are airborne. It so happens common folk cannot ride on the airships without special passes, nor do they run often due to becoming targets for the Garleans. To save people from the horror of being shot down and falling to their death, they save airships for only the most critical of needs.... like me. A lone adventurer carrying two letters saying little more than "hey, let's throw a party!" While I would wish Garlean rule on no one, I seriously wonder how these city-states have managed thus far. 

I was to learn exactly how they managed.

The first stop on my travels was Limsa Lominsa. This city-state reminded me of a giant seafaring vessal - and for good reason. The Lominsans seem to be pirates that have decided to come landward. Their leader, one Merlwyb Bloefhiswyn has the look and demeanor of a military power. While she leads this city-state, I can easily see her at the helm of a pirate ship. She is a fearsome sight indeed. She radiates calm, power and command. I am ashamed to say I may have stammered once or twice while trying to convey the missive to her. 

She was gracious and overlooked this faux pax, however. Upon completion of my mission she bade me continue onto Ul'dah with an additional strange message. She did admit it was a joke in poor tastes but assured me I would not find myself in the gallows for bearing such a message. Her dark sense of humor is a stark contrast from Kan-E-Senna's gentle grace, but I can see why these two would work well together. I wonder what the leader of Ul'dah is like to stand beside these two.

And then I met The Flame General Raubahn Aldynn.

If I mentioned Merwyb had presence, Raubahn is a force of nature. AuRa I may be. Everyone may seem bigger and more grand because of my own diminutive stature. However "bigger" does not do Raubahn justice. He is a mountain made mobile. There is no other description for him. He is that big. I would hate to see him lose his temper lest we learn there be a volcano roiling in the giant. Had he not opened our meeting with a jest, I fear I might have not spoken at all. Even so, I do fear I followed up his jest with the admiral's poor joke. To my great relief, he seemed to understand the message and I completed that part of my task with my head intact.

I see it now. The three of these leaders fit together seemlessly, each one guarding the others flank and providing aid the others miss. As a unit, they would indeed fight any enemy to an impass. 

Anyroads, No sooner had I completed my task and delivered the fiinal message then I was called to return to Limsa Lominsa for an urgent request

And that's how I ended up _healing_ complete strangers.


	7. Sastasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traveling with a group of three other adventurers, Neith finally gets to heal

Once I arrived at Limsa Lominsa, I met with the head of their adventurers guild. He's a bit like Mother, if Mother had a sailors mouth and a sarcastic streak. I was also introduced to the original petitioner. He was some high up leader in some organization called "The Yellowjackets". It seems there are vessels and they are assuming pirates, though they are unable to confirm because there were no signs when they last patrolled.

After obtaining directions, I made my way to the dock only to find out I was being charged passage even when traveling on official state business! They say there are strict rules against piracy in Limsa Lominsa, but I feel it is still being engaged in. If the state knew I was going to be charged passage, they should have presented me with an advance! Thankfully, I've not had need to spend any of the gil I've been amassing thus far and I had the appropriate fare. I can hardly get angry at the ferry captain. He's just doing his job, but I will demand they reimburse me for the round trip fare.

ANYROADS

Upon arriving at aleport, I'm given further instructions and make my way to the entrance at Sastasha. I must say I think my heart stopped as two things happened I believed nigh inconcievable thus far: This task was not mine alone and I was expected to heal. You can imagine my shock when I was paired with three other adventurers and given the task to move forward through the caverns that were called Sastasha. I do believe I stared dumbfounded for a moment or two when - upon making a plan of attack - they looked to me and asked "You will keep us healed, will you not?" I almost wept with joy as I nodded emphatically. This is not an exaggeration. 

We set forth to patrol the caverns and - initially - believed them to be empty to all save the normal denizens. 

Unfortunately, there were clues indicating otherwise. A dropped bloody parchment with writing on it that was not faded from time led us to believe we would find our quarry deeper in. We were not disappointed. We found many pirates calling the caves home. I have never been so glad to not be alone. Even were we not to consider the "good" Captain, who was the leader of the band of floatsum before his untimely demise, the fish creature the pirates made deference to was cause for great concern. Indeed, it took the combined strength of all four of us to fell the horrible beast and return to the cavern entrance in one piece. 

Much to my horror, I found myself woefully equipped for healing. Indeed I became so focused on the enemies in front of me that it took a moment or two to realize that my comrades really did need me to provide them the succor to fight. They could keep enemies from me and do far more damage if I could only keep them healthy enough to absorb the blows. My wish truly granted - to aid those who are in need of healing - I focused properly and we fell into a sort of rythmn.

Once I'd returned to Limsa Lominsa, I was told the creatures were called "sahagain". The locals call them "fishbacks" and they were more than a little concerned about their appearance so close to a Lominsan settlement. The task complete, I was given another task that required someone of my unique talents...

And that is how I ended up back in Gridania.


	8. Tam Tara Deepcroft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filling an abandoned underground city with the dead and no one thought this might be a bad idea?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Assume Spoilers* if you've not played this part of the Main Story, and don't want to be exposed to possible spoilers, do not read further.

I really don't know how often I find myself thinking this, but for all the beauty and grace of Gridania, sometimes I feel they are so..... dense! This time was a aetherite sized "what were you thinking?"

Upon my return to Limsa Lominsa, I was alerted to a summons from Mother. As she has been no end of help and a font of information, I hastened to her side.

It would seem, the place with the walking skeletons has a history. It is a  _necropolis!_ It was apparently founded years ago in the age of Gelmorran and used to intur the noble houses of that age. This makes it even more curious as to why the guildmaster would not put skeletons on the hunting log over the fireflies. Are they trying not to anger the dead? If so, wouldn't the fact that the dead are walking be proof that the dead are already angered? Do the conjurers or hearers not have a ritual for this? So many questions, too few answers.

Anyroads, it seems the "Tam-Tera Deepcroft" as it is called, has become a haven to some death cult worshippers called the "Lambs of Dalamud". Well, as I am become death.... let us lead the lambs to their final rest. 

Imagine my surprise when I find out that once again I am not to go alone! Again, I am met by no less than three other stalwart companions who are ready to face this challenge with me and again, I am able to heal and provide aid. This group was not like the previous. There was nary a word spoken, yet we all found and fell into our roles as if we had journeyed for years together. 

The marauder (an aggressive Roegadyn who stood afore the enemies demanding their attention) was fearsome in battle but calm and commanding outside of it leading us fearlessly through the deepcroft with nary a misstep. We were partnered with a Miqo'te who had a curious creature with her called a "Carbunkle". This creature seemed to obey her every command and together they dealt punishing blows to our foes. Rounding out the team was a Lalafel lancer. Initially, I'm ashamed to say, I had to exert firm self control not to laugh. Given his diminutive stature his lance was easy twice or three times his height. His command of his weapon was such that hardly did we meet our foes on the field of battle then they were felled and we were moving on. 

At first, the denizens were hardly more than the common creatures one might find walking about. Soon however, we met the fearsome undead warriors and priests of that long lost civilization. Each group felled and we pressed on. Indeed the Lambs of Dalamud proved a insane group. They had made pacts with voidsent. We met each and quelled them all. Whether they attacked alone or in groups made no difference, our might overcame them all. 

In a last desperate attempt, the Lambs made a pact with a powerful squid headed creature. Were it not for the confidence in my comrades at arms, I may well have been frozen with shock at the sheer presence of this creature. Seemingly sensing my hesitation, the Roegadyn clapped me on the shoulder, grinned, let out a war cry and charged forth to meet the beast,

We were pressed to be sure. But each of us were secure in our tasks and carried them out with ruthless efficiency. No matter if we faced one creature or when he summoned groups to his aid, in the end, all fell to our ruthless precision and methodical teamwork. 

At last, the Deepcroft cleared, I returned to Mother.

It was at the Canopy where I saw the most heart wrenching sight to date here in Eorzea. There was a group of three patrons who had seemingly lost a member of their team. They were all clearly distraught, though one more than the others. Mother told me it was becoming more and more common occurrence for adventurers to not return from their missions. 

It gave me great pause. For I had never reflected on my choice of "cover". I simply wanted to go some place where I could be "safe" and not be turned away because I was a refugee. I had never considered that my choice of "profession" would having me face my own mortality. This was the first time I thought about leaving and taking up one of the crafting skills. Alas, it was too late and my skills were needed in Ul'dah.

And that is how I ended up facing giants...


	9. Copperbell Mines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine a Cask of Amontillado. Only giants were walled up instead of a person. For 400 years. And they lived. They *might* be a little upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *assume spoilers* if you've not played to this point in the MSQ and don't want it spoiled.... blah blah blah

Today we learn while Gridania might be foolish, they are not as ruthless or as heartless as the Ul'dahn's. Perhaps this is why - despite all of the "kill all the woodland creatures" I get sent on in Gridania - they consider themselves "living in harmony with nature". I mean, at least they don't imprison their slaves for 400 years and hope they die, right? Yea... about that.

It seems that each of the city-states has their version of Mother and in Ul'dah that is Momodi, the proprietess of "the Quicksand". She's a lalafel with a great sense of humor. She's quite amusing to speak with. Our time was cut short and this time I was being summoned at the behest of a stationmaster. I'm a bit confused as to why a stationmaster would petition on behalf of the miners in the area, but he must hold some authority to have done so. Anyroads, I speak with Papashan and a miner by the name of Painted Mesa and I'm given my quest. 

It seems, 300 years ago, there was an empire that used giants as slaves for mining. Those running the mines did not care for their slaves revolting and chose to  _seal the mine_ instead of some sort of humane treatment of their workers. Apparently they had hoped to kill off the slaves by starving them of everything they needed to survive. Fortunately for the - GIANT - slaves, they were  _very_ proficient at mining. I'm not exaggerating. The slaves were literal giants with all the strength and stamina that race possesses. 

Gridanians = 1 Ul'dah = 0 

Gridanians may be foolish but they are not senselessly cruel.

I almost declined the post but my reputation preceded me and Painted Mesa was compelling. I found myself on the way to Copperbell Mines. Once again, I found myself as part of a group. As before, the group was different from the others I've encountered to date. Our team, as I'm beginning to think of them, was once again a hodgepodge of races and abilities, but whereas the first was stern and the second silent, this one was boisterous and gregarious. It was as if the competence of the second team was paired with friends who would meet at the tavern. Many quips and jibes were thrown and returned, both among the party and at the foes we would face. All the while never breaking stride nor suffering a misstep. 

It is easy to see how the giants have survived thus long. There are plenty of wandering creatures to hunt for food and a wide variety of them. From spriggans to colbyns and lightning sprites for light. In the deeper levels you can find living fossils and hippocerfs as well. There is plenty of water and the air did not seem stale nor polluted even with the many torches around providing light. 

Part of me would have rathered petitioned on the giants behalf. They deserved rights, proper living conditions and recompense. Alas, they were, understandably, enraged at their centuries long imprisonment and reason had left them. This was one of the hardest times I had with putting the creatures down. They had justifiable grievances, ones I would have willingly fought to be remedied. Their loss of reason was not wholly their fault. But I do not see those responsible as ever being held accountable. 

With a heavy heart I returned to the Quicksand to report the gruesome task complete. I was immediately witness to a merchant accusing a commoner of being a thief. Too often I have seen punishment administered without due process of ascertaining guilt. It made me angry. The complacency of the other bystanders made my blood boil and before I could think better of it, my found myself as shield to the woman. I sigh with remembrance. It was hardly a fair fight and by the end it was three on one. All my time throwing stones at things was not in vain as I half heartedly pummeled my foes with them. Every once in a while I pushed them back with water to amuse myself as I watched them run to get to me again. 

In the end the merchant left and for the time being the woman was safe. 

Yda an Papalymo were there as well. I found it curious they would be outside Gridania and when I mentioned as much to them, they bade me speak with Momodi.

And that is how I met the Scions of the Seventh Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I (the writer) know who Papashan is, however, as Neith started in Gridania, I'm writing with the impression SHE does not. She has never met him before. His position is not explained in this particular cutscene.


	10. The Scions of the Seventh Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First impressions are everything and this group makes one interesting impression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Assume spoilers...

The home of the Scions was in a place called “Vesper Bay.” It is a bit out of the way place past Horizon. It's not wholly inconvenient to get there, having a chocobo porter, but it has not aetherite of it's own.

Not knowing when another city-state was going to charge me transport to take on one of their quests, I opted to take a porter to Horizon and then walk to Vesper Bay. The journey was not without it's perils as there were quite a few troublesome vultures that needed to be disposed of. But I made the trip not the worse for wear.

Upon entry to the offices, I met Tataru. She's a charming lalafel with a wonderful singing voice and I've no doubt she could turn out a vagrant or two though she's not the build or temper of an adventurer herself. She directed me into the the solar to meet the rest of the scions.

It was there I met Minfilia and the others – including Yda and Papalymo. Minfilia is a Hyur woman who is gentle in speech. She seems to be more diplomat than fighter, though the other scions seem to have that covered.

She explained the order of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn and their call to defeat the creatures called the “primals”. She also explained something called “the echo”. When she described the feeling, I knew instantly I knew she understood the sensations and visions I had been experiencing.

With that established, she explained that “the echo” is important for dealing with the primal threat. She implored me to aid them and help them bring peace to the realm through the final defeat of the primals. Peace. True and lasting peace. Could it be I've finally found a group who desired that which I desired and would be willing to help me work towards it – beyond national boundaries? If this were the case, I could not – in good conscious – say no.

I readily accepted.

As a show of good faith, she gave me access to “retainers” who would sell things at market on my behalf while I was away on other quests. Valuable service. Who know, I may hire one or two. We shall see.

Anyroads, upon pledging my support to the scions, the other members were introduced and explained a place called Sharlean. That country bore of it several knowlegable scholars who's power was unequaled among their kinsmen. Those were called the Archons. Several of them make up the Scions now.

Yda and Papalymo, the masked fighter and spell casting lalafel that have been my occasional companions in Gridania were two of them. They apparently guard and report over the happenings within the twelveswood.

I also met Thancred, a smooth talking Hyur man with short white hair. I would have never guessed with his suave demeanor and rich voice that he is the one who would take guardianship of Ul'dah. He introduced Y'stola. She is a Miqo'te caster of a sort. Based on the wand at her side, I'm going to assume she is a conjurer as am I. She cares for Limsa Lominsa. Finally I met Urianger. He is the one in charge of all the goings on at the Vesper Bay Headquarters. He seems to speak in riddles, but has a wisdom beyond normal musings.

And that is how I ended up facing my first primal: Ifrit.

 


	11. The Lord of the Inferno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events leading up to and including the battle of the Lord of the Inferno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guessed it - spoilers

To say I immediately joined the Scions and was dispatched to deal with the Primal Ifrit is a bit of a stretch. It was known the Amalja'a were seeking materials with which to summon their God, the Primal Ifrit. 

I wish I could say this without bias, alas, I must say my impressions are based on my interactions with the Ul'dahn's. I can only wonder what the Ul'dahn's did to anger the beast tribe. I find it almost inconceivable at this point, to believe that the merchant class - at the very least - did not do something to provoke the Amalja'a. Even so, the loss of life that occurred - even with the successful defeat of Ifrit is unconscionable... but I am getting ahead of myself. 

It happened that Thancred, a fellow scion and the one who worked with Ul'dah, had become privy to some suspicious activity involving many of the poorer members of Camp Drybone. We made haste to the outpost to gather more information. There was false lead after false lead and many frustrating days were spent chasing down innocent members of the church. Thankfully, those wrongfully accused were eager to help us track down the true culprits of these heinous crimes. 

In the end, it was the servant of a more nefarious deity - that of gold - that proved to be the true culprit. A man sold out his fellow countrymen and women for the price of a few coins. Though he was not alone. It seems he had help within the Immortal Flames. The sirens song of gold was strong indeed and when we thought we had the drop on those responsible, it seems we had been led into a trap. 

They had not originally intended to kill us all, rather they wanted to "temper" us so that their god would become stronger. 

And while Ifrit did try and temper us all - I along with four other adventurers - survived unscathed. 

We set upon Ifrit with the fury of a Lalafel scorned. Truly, even I unleashed my rage upon the fell primal. I managed to inflict some sounds while seeing to the aid of my fellows. In the end, Ifrit fell. The amalja'a were without their god once more and I felt justice was served.

Oh how wrong I was...

Upon my return to the Waking Sands, I was informed by thancred himself that those Flames that fought beside me were to be put to the blade. For tempering changes a being and one tempered cannot help but worship the primal he is tempered to thereby powering the primal.

So much senseless loss of life.... I find myself fighting harder to keep from falling into despair...

Perhaps that is why I was dispatched to meet the Sylphs....


	12. Return to the Twelveswood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is more than one Beast Tribe, therefore there is more than one Primal. This time I was sent to speak to the Sylphs about their Primal: Ramuh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the Battle with Ifrit to Toto-Rak

There is no rest for the weary. As my gift of the Echo not only makes me impervious to tempering from primals, it also grants an ability to understand and be understood across language barriers, I was summoned by the head of the Twin Adders at the request of the Elder Seedseer. There is a Beast Tribe in the Twelveswood by the name of the Sylphs. This beast tribe is unique insofar that it shares a peaceful coexistence with the rest of the residents of the Twelveswood. Unfortunately, the recent threat of the primals has made the Elder Seedseer seek to confirm their alliance and continued peaceful treaties. 

Upon arrival I found speaking with the sylphs was not as easy as I would expect - even with my Echo. I honestly felt I would lose my legs with the amount of dancing I had to do to prove my peaceful intentions. They are curious little beasts, indeed. In the end, I was to learn there was not one, but two, tribes of the Sylphs. One was tempered, and the other was not. The tempered tribe believed all outsiders were to be avoided. The others sought peace with the Gridanian's. Or at least they did... until the Garleans appeared. 

It seemed with each lead and each mission my terror did grow as I found clue after clue and compounding evidence that the Garleans were indeed invading and the war I was seeking to flee from had come home to roost upon my own doorstep. 

I feel myself loosing and the darkness in my heart growing. I killed a number of Garleans in my search for the Sylph elder. In the beginning it was reluctantly. By the end, when I had discovered that a member of the Twin Adder had sold patrol information for the clink of a few coin, the reluctance turned to rage and by the twelve I eliminated the invaders with the full fury of a budding primal. I only wanted to heal. I only wanted peace. Still they pursue. Still they seek to conquer....

I cannot lose myself to the rage. I need to find my balance again. 

Upon the safe return of the sylph elder, the treaty confirmed and Ramuh's crystal relinquished, I returned to Gridania to report another mission successfully completed.


	13. Big Trouble in Little Ala Mhigo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems Ul'dah has trouble with more than just the Primals. They have significant internal affairs issues due to the influx of refugees. Had I not been sent to intervene, they might have learned the beast tribes are not the only ones who can summon Primals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the events leading up to and after the trouble in Ala Mhigo.

By the twelve, with the end to the immediate threat of primals, I had been sent on a simple diplomatic mission.

You would think that I would have learned by now that nothing I am ever sent on is a "simple" mission, but alas dear reader, I am an optimist at heart and I seek nothing more than to find myself right one day. Alas, that day was not today. 

Were I to look back at the event in gratitude, it would be for the austerity of Little Ala Mhigo and it's enviorns. While this served to be a source of frustration for the residents, it was a much needed refocusing and grounding for me. I know I can speak this way because I am not forced to live in these enviorns and I have the option to leave, something they do not. Just the same, I was glad for my time with them and for the recentering it helped me accomplish. I feel as if I have defeated the darkness rising within. If not defeated, at least beat down and effectively packed away. 

Anyroads, much of my time here was spent on humanitarian aid. While I understand the Gridanian's seeking to work within the grace of the elementals in the Twelveswood, I wonder if they sometimes use that as a convenient excuse not to aid their fellow Eorzeans. Whatever their reasons, they seemed to have no qualm with *my* using the forests resources to aid the Ala Mhegan's who have wandered here. I was not brought before the Elder Seedseer. I neither lost the powers granted by the elements nor was I asked to leave. I aided those who were told they could not find succor beneath the boughs and yet nothing untoward befell me. And so I question.

I did have a bit of a scuffle with some Ala Mhegan youths who (I laugh at writing this) sought to dissuade me from interfering with their plans. Even on reflection I can think nothing but the skirmish, for truly it was not a battle, only proved their desperation for that which they lost to the Calamity. 

Unfortunately, youth is prone to folly and this folly could have decimated their entire settlement. The swift actions of the leader, the guards and myself kept there from being a massacre. Again I found myself pitched against the Amalja'a. Again the beast tribe fell before our combined onslaught but it was a hard won battle paid for in beast tribe blood. 

I left Ala Mhigo with the leader of the settlement assuring me that he would see to the youth's proper education.

And that is how I became called to exorcise demons....


	14. Skeletons in Her Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently Hydelen knew of my pain and overwhelm for with the apparent silence of the Garleans and the immediate threat of the primals eradicated, I was sent to solve a rash of murders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The events up to and including Haukke Manor.

I have come to realize how twisted my world view is when I come to look upon investigating a rash of murders as a "welcome respite" from the heavy responsibilities that are constantly appearing at my shoulders, but there you have it. 

I found myself called upon to travel to Fallgard Float to investigate just that, a rash of murders. All the deceased were young women that shared some of the same attributes. They were all fair, skinned, dark haired and fair of face. When found their faces had been mutilated. 

When I was able to calm some of the local guards enough to speak, they spoke of an abomination. A ghastly eye with wings. Upon further investigation I found it was not one but several of the things which meant there were bodies as of yet unaccounted for. 

Indeed, when I traveled to the last known location of one of these things, I not only found a body but an eye with wings.... and a tail. I was quite taken aback by it's appearance I'm ashamed to say it rooted me to the spot and struck me dumb. I was unable to cast the simplest spell that had been with me from the beginning. 

Once I recovered my senses I did dispatch the beast and recover the body. 

There was only one identifying feature on it, a strange button with flower. My investigation took me from place to place and back to Gridania. I was glad to speak to Mother again and tap into her network of informants. I finally found an old retainer who spoke of "The Haukke Manor" and his mistress. It seems she had once been beautiful but had fallen prey to some illness which caused horrible disfigurement. In her obsession to be beautiful again, she became mad. 

I, and a few of my fellows, took it upon ourselves to end this travesty. Her soul suffered and were others to be saved, we needed to end her suffering. 

The manor was infested all sorts of fell beasts and undead creatures. The lady of the manor herself had been transformed into some strange being that was like an elvan possessed by a voidsent. The battle was pitched. It seemed we fought the very mansion itself with the braziers randomly lighting and the waves of flame attacking us, but we prevailed and brought peace to the manor and the surrounding areas


	15. The Lord of Crags

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.  
> In battle, in the forest, at the precipice in the mountains,  
> On the dark great sea, in the midst of javelins and arrows,  
> In sleep, in confusion, in the depths of shame,  
> The good deeds a man has done before defend him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES. SPOILERS - also, some character development stuff that has nothing to do with the official storyline but HAD to be done based on the character journaling. Includes events up to the return to the Waking Sands after the battle with Titan.

It was too good to be true. The peace was too short lived and I had only fooled myself into believing that I had defeated the darkness within me. For now I know it had only bided its time. It was merely sleeping, waiting. Ever vigilant. Patient in a way I could never be. And now I have succumbed. There is naught more that I can do for the wild roses have withered. 

Ah, but I am a scribe and it is my task to document. And so I shall. I shall not only document my fall but the death of the wild roses.

I had been summoned once again to the Waking Sands. It seems the Kobolds had been pushed too far by the Limsa Lominsans and the pact that had been agreed to had been breached. The kobolds had summoned their primal Titan. This creature was more fearsome than Ifrit and only one company had ever successfully felled him. Unfortunately, the named "Company of Heroes" had long since disbanded and, being a group of adventurers and sell swords, little was known about their whereabouts or how to get the information. 

Some diligent investigation led me to Coasta del Sol where I met one of the fabled company. This.... person... refused to share any information with us unless I performed some menial task for him. Full well was I glad for Y'stolas company else I would have lost what little reign I had on my temper. He was playing with countless lives waiting for me to "prove my worth" to him. Y'stola, being more wise than I, saw that trying force was not likely to be of benefit here and bade me perform the tasks with haste. 

Such did I set out to acquire (I kid you not): a frog leg, some sand worm meat, a bottle of wine and.... wait for it..... *sigh* a measure of cheese. 

Looking back on my adventures in acquiring these items, I would do these task a thousand times over if only to save myself the price that was paid in retrospect. While I was full frustrated during the runs not understanding the importance of them and in fury they were delaying the defeat of a primal, now do I long for what I view as "simpler times".

Anyroads.... having completed their tasks, I learned that each was a task to measure my capabilities to succeed against the Lord of Crags. Having met their measure, I was told how to access the innermost sanctum and battle Titan himself. 

Gathering some of the adventurers that had helped me in my journeys once before, I set forth to bring the battle to him. 

It was a pitched battle but in the end we were victorious. Having learned of our success from Y'stola, Milfinia contacted me and bade me come home to Waking Sands where we could celebrate.

It was not until I arrived home that the terrible price I paid was realized. 

The Waking Sands was still. Deathly still. Tataro was not at her customary place and upon opening the doors I learned why. Death was in the halls. There were bodies. Fallen comrades everywhere. Each step filled me with deeper dread. As I had found one, surviving Scion, a sylph that had joined us. I learned the full horror of what had befallen my allies.

Garleans had come to the Waking Sands. They had captured a few and murdered all others. All in a search for me.

There was no running from this war. There was no more healing. There was no peace. They wanted to find me that badly. They would find me on their doorstep and learn to tremble in my passing

I am become death, the destroyer of worlds. There will be no peace until the blood price is paid. The lady in white armor will pay for her trespass. I will claim one soul for each of those lost. Today I embrace my darkness. I embrace the primals I have defeated and I claim their powers as mine own to command. 

Garlemald will fall by my hand.


	16. In the greatest darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always a light. No matter how dark it seems, there is always - something - to pierce the gloom. And while no gift comes without price, we all know it needs to be paid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers - blah blah blah... this will also be a relatively short chapter

In my despair, I recall being told to visit the church outside Drybone once before on Scion business. And so I made my way there. I spoke with the head priest and he promised me he was a friend. As if taking confession, the tale unwound from my lips as the tears I refused to shed at the Waking Sands finally fell. 

The father, being wiser than I, asked that I continue my task of aiding those in need in the area so as to keep the spirit of the wild rose alive. So I did. There is comfort in routine. There is something that eases the soul to realize no matter the depths of your grief, time - and life - moves ever onward. 

Aiding those in need around Drybone did work as a salve to my weary spirit and, while not completely healed, I did take solace in the knowledge that any act, no matter how small, did keep the scion spirit alive. 

Not long after, I was approached by a man who worked at the church by the name of Marques. He was a quiet man, unassuming to be sure. The father had mentioned him as one who had seen the horrors of the calamity and lost his memory because of it. Perhaps I saw in him a companion. While my distress had not been as deep as him, I could at least taste a bit of the sorrow and misery of being lost when everything you had was taken from you. 

Perhaps that is why, when he approached me asking for aid, I readily obliged. He felt eyes upon him always. There was no comfort and no place to hide. Some could write this off as paranoia. But when a man has nothing, what is there to be paranoid over? So I set out to discover who was watching him and why.

My search would be the first step on my path of vengeance. Marques was indeed being watched, by Garleans no less. I would be lying if I were to say that I restrained or felt shame in my actions. No, indeed, it was with great relish that I discouraged further spying. Alas, I don't know that any of the spies actually made it back to report my warnings. I also feel no remorse on that. Don't let my words sway you. The only thing that kept me greater than mine enemy is I didn't torture the bastards before killing them. 

If they come, let them come. I will be waiting. 

I did not enjoy reporting what I had discovered to Marques and the head priest. Both being good men, I did not wish to bring distrust to Marques. He had already been through so much. Nor did I wish to bring fear to the good father who had taken me in at the hour of my greatest need. Alas, sparing them the truth could be more dangerous, so I came clean.

During our conversation, the young man I had seen on my travels to Gridania and the Waking sands, entered the church. He introduced himself as a Scion by the name of Alphinaud Leveilleur and said he was our ally. He seemed to know who Marques was. Or rather, he knew that Marques was not Marques. Alphinaud knew who Marques had been and the history he had forgotten. 

In this litany of announcements, Alphinaud ended with another primal was born and we - the Scions - needed to stop her. He insisted that the rumors of our destruction would be a blessing, allowing us to walk more freely and move with greater haste. I allowed myself to harbor a feeling deep within my heart. A small seed of hope.

He begged me to set off with him and Marques to search for an airship called the Enterprise. Our goal: to put down the Primal Garuda and to prove to Eorzea that her Scions were still with her.

And that is how I learned that roses bloom in the desert. 


	17. The Stone Vigil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pride goeth before the fall, or so they say. In this case, it's accurate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers - this is everything after finding Cid up to the Garuda fight. Well... primarily the Central highlands stuff. If you've not played through to this point, well read at your own risk

It almost pains me to write this next entry for fear it may fall into the wrong hands. Oh, don't get me wrong. There's nothing here to foretell great or hidden knowledge. Unless you're a ne'er do well. 

I have determined, those that do evil have yet to learn, if they would just tell the hero of the tale what they wanted to know in the first place, the hero would be out of their way and long gone so they may continue on their evil ways. But no. That can't happen. Those bent on evil have determined that should the hero show up, it is their moral imperative to delay and otherwise hinder the hero in the hopes that said hero would die long before unraveling their plans. 

That is not how it works. 

Read that again, and once more for good measure. 

Have you committed it to memory? Good because the longer you delay the hero, the greater the chances the hero will uncover your nefarious plot and do you in! Case in point: The Inquisitor of the Holy See of Ishgard. 

Dear reader, Had these houses in all there pomp, circumstance and ceremony, simply told this road weary adventurer where to find the airship, I would have been gone from that godforsaken frozen wasteland faster than a black mage could start a fire. Alas, that was not to be. First I had to gain favor, which led me to uncovering a plot to kill one of the members of the high houses. Which, you may find  _very_ easy to believe, led their allies to press upon me to help. These allies promised me aid in return. 

Thus was I required to lend my aid. They had what I wanted - leave to search an abandoned keep for the Enterprise. I had a way to gain it - do what I had come to be known for, help those in their hour of need. All the while this Inquisitor, who had the authority to tell the high houses to give me what I sought so I might be on my way. did all in his power to delay and inconvenience me. 

As I said in opening this entry - the longer you delay the hero of the tale, the more likely it is that they will uncover and thwart your plot. 

So long as evil is arrogant, prideful or ignorant enough to ignore this information, my job shall be easy. It may be filled with needless obstacles and annoying setbacks, but I will triumph in the end. 

And so it was here. 

The inquisitor shall hinder me no longer and I was given leave to seek out the Enterprise at the Stone Vigil. 

I know not whence it got it's name for the house that was supposed to guard it long since abandoned it to the dragons. They and their kin harried our small group the entire way. There were dragons, sentient ice crystals, zix and other beasts in the keep. But there were three dragons. Honest to goodness dragons. 

One would follow us throughout the keep and randomly come in and drop fire on us. Another we were lucky to scare away with some of the old armaments. The final. Well we wouldn't have had to fight her if the black robed man hadn't shown up. I believe he is either afraid of me, or he has been reading my journal, for he didn't start with "oh mournful voice of creation" I credit my shock as the reason he yet lives. 

While he may, the dragon will now sleep for eternity for she is no more. 

And that is how I got to ride in Cid's airship "The Enterprise"


	18. Our Lady of the Vortex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the events leading up to and immediately following the fight with Garuda.... You know the deal, spoilers, if you haven't played to this point and don't want it spoiled, don't read it.

Having rescued The Enterprise, we took her back to Gridania. Alphinaud parlayed on our behalf and obtained permission for us to dock her there and Cid to take the time needed to repair her so that we might begin our assault on Garuda's fortress.\

There was some concern that the ship would be able to withstand the tempest winds when Cid struck upon a solution. Corrupted crystals may well be able to provide us with enough of a shield to pierce the barrier. 

And so I was dispatched to obtain the crystals. 

I would like to say this task was as tiresome as the pre-Titan feast. It  **was** as tiresome but mostly for my own ignorance. I fear I lost count of the numerous times the "greatest minds on corrupted crystals in the land", replied to the fruits of my toils with "Well if you had told me that to begin with...", only to send me out on some other quest or journey. 

Pray don't misunderstand. I fully admit my fault for not telling them what I needed the crystals for in the first place, I could have saved myself some wasted effort. However, I was not the only one remiss! They should have known what questions to ask! I'm only an adventurer here!

ANYROADS.... once that series of tasks was complete, I brought the required crystals to Cid, he affixed them to The Enterprise and we were on our way. 

As an aside, I have long journeyed alone, only finding allies when a task required me to do so. However, I see the value of competent allies such as Cid. Would that I could find a steady group of travelers such as he to walk this path with me. Ah well, if wishes were gil, we'd all be rich.

We gained entrance into Garuda's lair and there was the required blustering and grandstanding. This time though, I believed her capable. She was easily the largest of the primals we had yet faced and her feathers rained down like blades. I found myself with three other adventurers beside me. This time my place was not healing. Rather, I had come to embrace the teachings of the Thamaturgists in Ul'dah and decided to put their teachings into practice raining down fire and lightning on the Primal of air. 

The battle was challenging and the fight hard won, but won it was. We each knew our place and applied our skills well and despite being bloodied and battered, we prevailed.

Or so we had believed. Garuda proved more cunning than Titan and Ifrit but in the end it was Gaius van Baelsar who was the most cunning of all...

That is how I found myself doing the very thing that started my journey - running away from Garlemald


	19. Rock the Castrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers. Spoilers. There are Spoilers coming. Like the rest of this journal, this will not be a direct transcription of the events, but if you don't want spoilers, and haven't played to this point, don't read any further. This covers most of the pivotal events from Garuda through the end of 2.0

Garlemald had won the battle, but not the war. With each new ally I rallied to my side, a precious gift developed - hope. Faint but growing. Tenuous and precious, worthy of protecting, hope.

Alphinaud helped me remember that in light of our running from the battlefield. While young, and at times painfully naive, his outlook often served as balms for a war weary heart and it is now he did so for me.  

As is often said, it is darkest before the dawn, and so it was. So deep was I in my despair if the loss of the wild roses, that I did not objectively examine if more did yet bloom. And yet they did. Not only did they bloom but they found their way to my side yet again, and with each one, my heart emboldened, hope did grow.  

Through searching and investigation, we had assumed all roses had withered, we were wrong. We had only to go and get them. And so we made a plan to do just that. 

Alphinaud is a pretty decent tactician, I will give him that. And Cid is a brilliant engineer, none will deny that. But simplicity is in neither of their vocabulary. They kept insisting that "One doesn't just walk into a Garlemald base" and with each utterance the plan did get more intricate and complex. 

It was my job to spy, obtain uniforms, get them repaired, and retrieve the parts needed from places only less objectionable than Brayflox's longstop. Then it was my *cough* honor to be told that I had to pay for the refinement for the materials thus retrieved. Thankfully, I found that somewhere in my travels, I had obtained a pretty wealthy benefactor. A Merchant lord that fancies himself a bit of an adventurer. He addressed all the fees that were needed and, in the end, I had a set of repaired Garleon armor and a magitec walker. 

All to break into a Garlond base. 

I really wish I could say breaking in was flashy and nail biting. But for all the "One does not simply...." I assure you that is EXACTLY what one does - walk. right. in. 

I'll admit to entertaining myself my talking to anyone who would spare two words for me. I think part of it was simply to cause distress to Alphinaud and Cid for everything they put me through to get to this point, though I'll swear to my dying breath it was to gather information. And all my chatting did serve a purpose, for Biggs and Wedge found something they could not break and my chatting gained us a key. I might have preened a bit at that. 

Honestly, dear reader, I may be humble, but I'm not above a little gloating!

Anyroads, I do believe Wedge might have a bit of a crush on Tataru for no sooner did he see her in danger than all thoughts of a "well laid plan" be thrown out the window. The skirmish was short and intense. The roses again gathered, we made good our escape - or so we thought. There were to be more battles and fierce-some magitec devices to be overcome.

The Garleons had absolutely NO tact and interrupted the heartfelt reunion between long lost friends, insisting to put them all to death. Cid, not to be outdone on the "flashy" scale, bade us count to five and then..... jump. No, you read that right. JUMP. 

Trusting full well in him, we did....

And that is how I learned the name of our enemy - And looked into his face.....


	20. Hope Rekindled - The Seventh Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes us through the end of 2.0 - as non-spoilery as we can make it. but yea, spoilers

It would seem I was not alone in my despair and loss of hope. As they did for me, the return of the roses did bolster the leaders of the Eorzean alliance and we found ourselves once again off to war. Only this time, I was the point of the spear. I remember, dear reader, when I started this journey, all I wanted was to end war, find peace and help others.

And here I stand, staff in hand ready to exert vengeance against those who placed darkness in my heart and now threaten my adopted homeland. I mastered the elements, as bade by Brother E-Sami-Yan when I started, yet it is not wind and water I call to my aid in this battle. I command lightening and ice. I cleanse with fire. For fire purifies all.

The battle was not simple, though Alphenaud had only a small part in it's planning. Though the complexity was due to the sheer enormity of the task. Yet each part was broken down and laid out in such a sequence as to be achievable. 

I had gathered a group of my most trusted allies and we were to be the strike force. We had a few objectives to accomplish prior to laying waste to the Garleon weapon. 

Do not be disillusioned, I did wish for Livia sas Janius to show her face, but not at the cost of the greater mission. I could be patient. I could be frighteningly patient. 

My first task was to take on the praefectus. He was a direct threat to the rest of the missions. Once completed, they could start on the rest of the operation. I was taken aback to learn the praefectus was a man that would fit comfortably around the negotiation table were there opportunity to do so, alas, it was not to be and so the battle did ensue.

Each base fell, one after another as children's toys. Twas in the second strike that I did see the twelve grand my hearts desire. Livia did not make it out of the base. My allies and I saw to that. And with each fireball I threw, with each strike of lightning I called down, with each word that froze the very air and cast a slick sheen on the ground - I murmured a name of a fallen ally that I might find mercy and grace from their souls by seeing their vengeance done.

I believed the final battle to be between van Gaius and my team. Even the possibility of between their fearsome weapon and us, I had not expected to see the true face of my enemy meet me on the battlefield.

Have you the fortitude to look into the face of a beloved friend and ally with the knowledge you must defeat them for all you hold dear? Can you do so without a second thought? If so dear reader, you are a stronger warrior than I. I found myself faltering. Had it not been for the words of Alphenaud and Minfilia, I might have wept with the task set upon me. But their words wrapped me as armor and the allies I had gathered with me that day proved to be up to the task. 

When all was said and done, Castrum was in flames. Lahabrea was defeated. Eorzea was safe.... and Thancred was home. 

In the end, a new Astral Era was named and peace was called for all of the land.

And then the keeper of the lake let out his fearsome bellow.....


	21. Hail to the king

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinda spoilers: sorta spoilers: if you've not run Thornmarch, and don't want it spoiled, don't read it.

I have become accustomed to the beast tribes summoning their gods. What I had not prepared myself for is  _MOOGLES_ summoning a  _MYTH_. Yet here we are. A myth made manifest. 

I'm not sure if the moogles are just stronger than the standard beast tribe or if their beliefs are just that much stronger but it would seem that  _SIX_ (yes, dear reader, you read that right, a mere six moogle) have managed to summon the good King by themselves.

Now, for various reasons, not all of which I understand, it was not a good thing that dear Moogle Mog the XII has returned to the realm and once again, I was summoned to deal with this threat. 

I had hoped to be able to handle this diplomatically. Unfortunately, the journey to Thornmarch, cleared me of that misconception. We were set upon by various creatures multiple times and it was everything I could do to keep Kuplo Kopp (my trusty guide and companion) alive. 

I did chance to meet Good King Moogle Mog thje XII - may his memory never be forgotten - and his mooglesguard. And after a short but intense battle, all were no more. Or, more accurately, The Good King returned to myth and the mooglesguard went.... wherever they go. 

Moggle are significantly more trouble than they would seem at first glance. 

 


	22. Lord of the Whorl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of the events and thoughts that lead up to the battle of Leviathan - maybe spoilers? meh, who cares, assume there are spoilers. it's easier that way.

Let me take this moment, dear reader, and remind you that we have experienced the Dawn of the Seventh Astral Era. This is supposed to be an era of peace and prosperity for all of Eorzea and her citizenry. 

I'm going to pause for a moment and let that sink in before I write my next question for you to ponder:

Why then, if this is the era of peace and prosperity, does it seem all the denizens of this land are hell bent on destroying one another and shattering the fragile peace my bretherine and I worked so hard to achieve? 

Ah, but I digress....

After the defeat of the Moogle king, we had chance to meet new friends and comrades. New souls tossed about by the ravages of war. And the Scions decided it was time to find a home out from under the thumb of the Uldah'n merchants (thank the twelve). 

However, in all of this, it seems the Lominsans have been pressing the attack in an effort to grab more land from the sahagan. In so doing they have angered the fish folk. And now we have - you guessed it - another primal summoning. Some people never learn. 

I will admit, my dear reader, I was rather excited for the Admiral was joining us on this excursion. It is not often one can journey with a legend. Her marksmanship and her utter calm on the battle field are things of wonder. I have witnessed first hand her split second decision making and her conviction that would turn the tide of battle. 

While I wish I did not have to see it under such circumstances, I do not question the strength of Limsa with the Admiral at the helm. 

In the end, in order to save the settlements - sahagain and Lominsan alike - from the ravages of Leviathan, we took to sea in a contraption of Cid and Alphenaud's making. 

It is one thing to fight a primal. To see the command of their element and to experience the fury which they were infused. It is something else entirely to invade their home, give them the advantage, watch them turn the elements against you and still remain standing after. 

I will admit, I did not expect to win that battle. But the allies I traveled with infused me with courage. Their competence and execution did calm my nerves and in the end we were victorious. The lord of the Whorl was no more. 


	23. Side Quest - Reminiscing at the tavern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a completely side conversation between a small adventuring company. Neith, Fuipo, Yuki and Toshi met to remember old times and talk about the primals. No REAL spoilers here, but it could be argued that some of the comments boarder on spoilery. If you want to go into the primal fight COMPLETELY BLIND, do not read this post. If you don't care, and want to go "Oh hey! that's what they meant when they said..." then read away. Covers almost all the primals between 2.0-4.0

Toshi Yuki, and I had been sitting at the tavern inside the Rising stones for a while now. They had some plates of various dishes laid out and were well into their second tankard when Fuipo comes trotting in and climbs into the chair. 

"Sorry I was late. Forgit to call Garuda back last night. You know how she gets. Bitch is bi-polar. One minute she's all like "Feed me your aether" the next she's all like "DIE DIE DIE and cackles like a psychopath." 

I shake my head in disbelief and sigh "I would have  _thought_ you would have figured that out by now. But you like to live dangerously."

Yuki laughs.

Fuipo fills up his tankard. "Dude! Even Titan won't call her back anymore! What does that tell you?"

I shrug. "She had that coming after what she did to him. You don't recover easily from that level of betrayal."

Fuipo lets his shoulders slump. "I know, but it's less awkward than hanging out with Shiva. Cause you know, just don't."

Yuki raises her mug to hide a mischievous grin and I catch it, I can't - or won't - keep from ribbing a friend.

"She's into some kinky shit, and coming from me, that's saying something!"

"At least Lakshimi is cool to hang with" Fuipo muses "Little overzealous on the hugging though. Gonna suffocate me someday."

"Oh sure. You're just a sucker for a pretty face" Yuki chimes. 

"Yea. having to pop pills every few minutes just hanging out with her is not my idea of fun" I counter and let my eyes focus on something in the distance. "Now Zurvan. He knows how to make a girl soar. I don't even mind how he goes hot and cold."

Fuipo looks at me like I'm crazy. "You know who is fun to hang out with? Sephirot. Dude can lift but skips leg day every fucking time! Like for fucks sake dude! I can't do leg day solo! I need a spotter"

The whole table erupts in laughter because we know it to be true. Sephirot is impressive, so long as you don't look at his legs. 

"Sophia is cool too, but she's always so tipsy" Fuipo continues. "come closer. OMG GET AWAY!! No wait. COME BACK!" 

"Ramuh is pretty chill." Yuki offers. "His buddies are kinda of a buzzkill. They all are a little judgy though."

I let out a shrug and small sigh of disappointment. "You know who I thought would be cool? Ifrit. I was wrong. All he does is try to nail you. It gets old."

"Niddy would be cool if he could get over that "anti-lance" thing. Like, we get it. Estinien humped your leg once! Get over it! Sheesh!"

"I recently met Susano. He's a lot of fun. You can't even get mad at him when he gets all excited and whips out his sword." I say. 

Fuipo agrees before taking another pull at his ale. "Dude can brawl for sure. He keeps leaving giant sword marks in the living room floor though." His eyes go wide as a thought occurs to him "Do you know who's  _really_ pushy? Shinryu. He's like "Here's some tail" Dude. we get it! Your desperate! Stop acting like the rest of us and get your own groove." 

"You have to admit" Yuki says taking a pull on her own ale "That piggyback ride was pretty fun"

"Moggle mog is still the most awkward to hang with. Plays the creepiest shit in the airship!" Fuipo muses. The rest of us make sounds of agreement. 

"Someone should put Moggle mog and his cronies in a room with Odin. Dude is so emo, not even Dark Knights will hang out with him. Hell! His shit is STILL in my lawn! I told him to come get it and he said he was "Delayed by adventurers not granting him passage." I was all like "Dude! Stop going through the shroud! You know them hippies are like eco-terrorists." But he said it was the fastest way. I told him the least he could do is stop being so dramatic and making tension."

Once again, the whole table agrees. 

"Hey," I look to Fuipo and ask "How's Alex been lately? I haven't seen him in a dogs age!"

Fui shrugs noncommittally "Says he doesn't have time anymore. Like he's stuck in place. Says he's in a good spot though. That it's best for everyone."

Toshi, being the newest adventurer of all of us has been sitting back and taking everything in before asking "Ever think Titan is just an overgrown Miquo'te? He just keeps knocking stuff off the table".

Fuipo nods before adding, "If you think about it, he's pretty OCD. If you're standing in the wrong spot, he will move you. He will even force you to stand still sometimes, but it probably doesn't help that his last relationship was a little rocky."

And so the four friends and adventuring companions passed the evening reminiscing about the primals they met and the things that have happened since. 


	24. A journey of remembrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a full character development entry. It *is* in response to a side event that starts in House Fortempts manor. The quest is called "The paths we walk". It's a side quest series and I didn't find it until after the end of Stormblood. But having completed it, this is Neith's reaction and realization from it. There are NO SPOILERS other than locations visited. But if you don't even want that, you may not want to read this.

"To ye who ask of things to come: Give thought to what is past and gone"

I hadn't found myself at the Forgotten Knight for a philosophy lesson, yet there the bard was. His words stirred something in my heart and in the depths of my despair, when I found myself at the lowest, his words brought water to my parched soul. I paid my tab and waived a halfhearted goodbye to Gibrillont and before I knew it, my feet led me to House Fortemps Manor. 

The memories here stirred yet a deeper sense of loss. Yet I was welcomed as always and the Manservant and I spoke for a time. Wisdom and warmth flowed from him and his words spurred me to continue my journey. I had no map, I had no set destination and yet my heart knew where I was destined to go. And so I went. I traveled the length of Ishguard and saw directly the impact my actions had. I don't mean ending a thousand year old war or ousting invading forces. I mean the easing of suffering, the increase in trade opportunities, the release of a people. 

And as it must be, with the good, there was bittersweet or bad as well, the shattering of faith, the loss of friends. I found my own preconceived notions challenged as those I believed traitors were found as friends and those who believed friends had proven themselves as traitors. Still, there was wisdom in this journey. For I was given the given the gift of seeing the events of the days through the eyes of others who had lived the same events. 

As I kneeled, visiting an old friend, I had found my reason for fighting. I don't fight to end wars. I fight to make a better world. Growing is pain. The bad must accompany the good and it will not always be easy. Let the bards sing of the fall of empires, freeing of nations and ending of wars. In my heart I will carry the prosperity of people, freedom from oppression and the easing of suffering that all the "small" things I have done throughout my time here has accomplished. 

I know why I fight. It is not to be some fabled "Warrior of Light" come to save the world, but if that is what I do with a delivery, conversation or "throwing stones at small woodland creatures" then that is a mantle I will gladly bear.


	25. The wanderer finds a home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some character development stuff since Neith has finally found an FC where she not only feels welcome but where she feels like she can actively contribute. 
> 
> Introduction to some of the members of our small band of warriors of light

Neith looked around the homey common room on the bottom floor of the FC house. Many of the members were assembled there. 

The Winds of Fate, they were called. Tossed about by the era's whims and going where they were needed, this rag tag group of adventures were slowly starting to make a name for themselves 

As she looked about, the one face she missed, one she would never see, was Fuipo. She didn't know what happened to him, not really, but gone he was. And while it left a pain in her heart, she could admit to herself that it was a crush, nothing more, because she didn't go looking for him. If she felt what she thought she felt, she wouldn't still be here. So while she missed him, she vowed to make the Winds of Fate someplace he could be proud of when he returned. 

Yuki, ever the life of the party, was surrounded by FC mates, new and old. She was regaling them with some tale or another. It was easy to see why she was surrounded. Her smile would still light up the room and her laugh would ring from the rafters. She was the soul of the FC. Her gregariousness balanced many of the other members recluseness. 

Seda, the newest officer was a brilliant balance between Yuki and Neith herself. Seda was even keel and even tempered. She spoke little and offered advice only when specifically asked. She wasn't as boisterous as Yuki, nor was she as quiet as Neith. Her antics of being "Neiths protector that would bite your ankles" made Neith smile to herself. While Seda was small in stature, she was immense in heart. And gumption. Not many who met Neith would ever presume she needed a protector, but Seda would hear nothing of it. She was Neith's protector and that was that. 

Some of the newer members were here too: Mi, who carried within them a scar that they wouldn't speak of. And who was she to ask, she who so carefully hid who she was under layers of pretense and careful deflection. 

As she placed some more snacks out, the conversation swirled around her like a comfortable shawl. 

Siren, Thomas, Zass and Toshi were comparing strategies on one of the tougher missions. They were some of the newer members. Their eagerness had not yet been tempered by the harshness Eorzea could deliver on it's protectors. If she were to have her way, she would keep them from that horrible fall for as long as she could. 

Honorary places were set for those who could not be with them: V'xie and Kiko. A symbol that while they were not here in person they were here in spirit and they would always have a place to call home. It was an antiquated tradition, but one Neith adhered to. Thankfully, her FC mates would humor her. 

Loki, Ari and Sukabaatar were apparently deep in discussion. That is one pairing she would have never guessed. She shook her head ruefully. Ari was from her home tribe but it seems that Ari knew nothing of Neith and Neith was fine with that. Maybe, just maybe her tribe had stopped looking for her. That was ok. Better a home of her own making than bearing the yolk of deceit. 

There was something about Suka that set her as "off" but Yuki was never far from his side and she was a pretty good judge of character. Neith's thoughts wandered to the day Suka joined them. The winds were foreboding that day. A storm was brewing. One the foretold forced change. For good or ill she didn't know. It was too early to tell.  

Loki though. That one liked to flirt with death. He always got a little too close. He worried her. No matter how often she layered patient coolness or chill formality around her. He persisted and it troubled her more than she cared to admit. People who got close didn't stay around for long. 

Neith shook her head against the bitter thoughts. Better to think of the brighter times that will come in her journeys to Ishgard and beyond. 

She allowed her thoughts to wander as she prepared more snacks in the kitchen. 

"One cannot take part in the festivities if one refuses to do naught but work Nhaama." Loki's melliferous voice came from above her shoulder. 

A smile came unbidden before she carefully schooled her features. "Someone must assure the smooth running of things Loki, dear." she chided him lightly, unable to keep the smile out of her voice. 

"Then let someone else do it, Nhaama. Come. I'll dance for you." 

Neith tossed back her head and laughed. It was one of the rare times she let herself genuinely laugh. As she let herself be led away she realized, The Winds of Fate would blow and she and her comrades would be there to help the realm endure them. 


	26. My name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just neith changing classes.... but I couldn't get this out of my head so I wrote it down

_My name is worthless like you told me I once was_  
  
Fingers gracefully move across a bow and lyre  
  
_My name is empty cause you drained away the love_  
  
Those same fingers reverently caress the hole in the house fortemps shield that is hung on the wall  
  
_My name is searching since you stole my only soul_  
  
Emerald green eyes look at the sword and shield that hang next to the armor stand with the blue and silver armor and crown that marks the wearer as a Free Paladin  
  
_My name is hatred and the reasons we both know_  
  
Neith looks at a handful of scales on a table in her armor room.  
  
Worthless, Empty, Searching, Hatred.... who am I right now?  
  
_My name is screaming like the sound of your heart failing. My name is loco like the motive that betrayed me. You're always dragging me down. You're the fake, fallen, force of nature, sick mind. I don't need a gun to take back what's mine_  
  
Neith slowly peels off the leather armor that has been her constant companion since setting aside her free paladin gear. She places her gun in a rack beside the house fortemps shield.  
  
_But who am I right now?_  
  
She reaches down and starts donning armor once again. Heavy, fortified. Back to the beginning. Familiar. A homecoming. As a final step, rather than a helmet she grabs a black strap of cloth and winds it around her eyes.  
  
_My name is Revenge and I'm here to save my name._  
  
A red aura surrounds her and a bastard sword is on her back as she turns to walk out of the room.


	27. End of Stormblood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is VERY out of order but it is Neith's reaction to the final cut scenes in the stormblood expansion. There are no spoilers and this is PURELY a character development post

I have stared into the abyss. If I am to be honest, I've been staring into it for a while now. And yet, and yet.. 

They say if you stare long enough into the abyss, it stares into you. And so it does. 

I have seen what I can become. I have stared at the monster that is me if I continue on this path. The rage is starting to consume me. The anger is my constant companion. 

I have lost sight of who I sought to become and allowed mine enemy to forge me into his own image. The only way to beat him at his game, is not to fight the battle. 

And so I put away my sword and shield and walk away. I did not want this battle. I will walk my own path. 

*Neith places her shield next to the Haurchefant's, takes off her armor and places it carefully on its stand. She dons the robes of a traveler, packs some meager belongings and walks out. *


End file.
